Before this week I had heard of Maya Angelou only through the media. I’ve heard her name spoken in school and I thought I had seen her reading a poem on television once, but I’ve never personally read anything written by her. Having the opportunity to enrich my mind of her presence was a great intellectual experience. So far her memoir,  I know Why the Cage Bird Sings is heartbreaking and real and manages to capture the innocence of a child growing up in a segregated Arkansas town. Her memoir captures the mindset of people during that time, where not many women were strong, where blacks were not equal, and where religion was some people’s only salvation.

        

The moment that has stuck with me the most while reading is eight-year-old Maya’s sexual assault by her mother’s boyfriend. Assault on anyone is wrong, but the fact that Maya was so young and so confused as to what was happening to her is devastating. For when the act initially began she thought of it as a comfort. She was so neglected that she wanted to feel wanted by someone. And after the act occurred, she like so many other victims, blamed herself. I was saddened by the thought that she was the one who felt disgusting. I couldn’t believe that when she found out that her assailant was dead she thought it was because she lied to the courts and didn’t tell the whole extent of what the man did to her. She felt no relief, only guilt.

Although it’s hard for me to wrap my head around why someone would feel that way, I know that I am by no means in authority to tell anyone how to feel. We learned at the BAVO event last week that when someone is hurt by anyone in that way, it is never the victim’s fault. We also learned that the victim’s peers cannot force them into getting help if it is unwanted, and we cannot force them to tell of the events if they don’t want to speak. I can only hope that later in life Maya was able to talk to someone and tell them the whole truth of what she experienced, I hope she has found some sort of closure.

Mary Gordon's Speech

Going into Tuesday night I was genuinely excited to hear from Mary Gordon. I thought she would discuss her various books, and give us insight to what she was thinking while writing them. I was in for a surprise when I glanced at the program and saw the title of her lecture. The names of her books were nowhere to be found, instead they were replaced by the names of artists and poets.

            

The beginning of Gordon’s speech enthralled me with her use of eerie paintings and the text that went along with them, but as the speech continued I found myself getting lost. I’m not sure if it was my lack of intense focus on what she was saying, or if her academic language was just going over my head. There were moments where the adults around me would chuckle at Gordon’s intended jokes and I would just sit there confused, not quite catching the humor.

            

However there were moments that I did understand, like I mentioned before Gordon’s use of Goya’s paintings really resonated with me. I found it helpful that she had clear examples of what she was talking about. It was nice to hear her describe a specific painting and then look at the projector screen and see exactly what she was talking about, while making new observations of my own. I understood the point that she was making that while the artists where living in times of war and societal disgrace they were able to find an escape through their faith.Even though I was confused through the speech, some of Gordon’s points did register with me; I believe the fact that everything that she spoke of did not connect with me was ok, because the most important moments did. Her graceful public speaking ability was made clear and I admired the composure she possessed while behind the podium.  Often while she talked I pictured the words she was saying in the form of text in a book and I was saddened when the time came to turn the last page.

Saturn

Mary Gordon’s speech tonight was intellectual and thought provoking. However the moment that most captured my mind was when she presented the picture of ‘Saturn’ by Francisco Goya. Never before had I seen a painting that captured an image of pure savage like behavior. In the painting the god Saturn is seen with wild eyes and an open mouth as he takes a bite out of a human body. The head of the body is already removed along with one of the person’s arms, as if Saturn had been devouring him for a while. Saturn appears almost illuminated as his body is contrasted against a dark background; his face looks as if he was caught in an act.

During the question and answer time after Gordon’s speech a Saint Mary’s student explained that while in Spain her class studied the painting in detail. While discussing the artwork her teacher proclaimed that the partially eaten body was supposed to represent Saturn’s son. He lived in a time of war and it was said that Saturn was afraid that his children would soon overtake his power, so upon their birth he ate them one by one. While Gordon respond to this information she made a good point. She pointed out that the body was not one of a child, but instead a fully matured person. She said that the painting represented the rage that Saturn and Goya both holstered at that time in their lives. Regardless of what the true meaning behind the painting was, it’s still an attention-grabbing image that leaves the viewer with a feeling of slight revulsion. 

Discovering My future

President Mooney’s speech was one of inspiration and guidance. I had never heard the backstory of where she grew up and what her life was like as a young women, so hearing it for the first time was quite special. I, like Mooney currently am undecided on a major. She explained in her speech that when she first arrived at Saint Mary’s she was not fully decided on what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Hearing her say this gave me hope for myself, hope that although I don’t have an answer to my future quite yet, it’s okay to not have one, because one’s first year in college is all about exploring.

Something that stood out to me in Mooney’s speech was the fact that she wanted us to get a higher education so we are able to see the world with ‘awe and wonder.’ While I do agree that there are many things to be taken aback by in our world, I also can’t help but think there’s so much we can still do to help make our surroundings a better place. I’m currently enrolled in a Social Problems class here at Saint Mary’s and we learn everyday that wrong doings are occurring in various countries, even here in America. One of my goals in life is to make a difference in someone else’s by whatever means possible. I believe that poverty, hunger, and medicinal care needs to be further researched and action still needs to be taken by myself and others before I can view the world in an utmost positive light, and look at my surroundings in awe.

Another point that President Mooney presented was that in a study she recently read, a family who’s income is in the top 25% has over an 80% chance of attending a college or university. A family in the bottom 25% has an 8% chance. Mooney said that this needs to change, and while I strongly agree that yes this is a problem, I can’t help but think that the high prices of tuition at schools like Saint Mary’s is part of the problem. How is a person whose family brings in a low income supposed to afford theses colleges? I know that Saint Mary’s does give out scholarships to those who earn them and need financial support, however I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who are scared to even apply to a college such as Saint Mary’s because of the impending tuition rates.

Overall I thought President Mooney’s speech was well given and her words resonated with me long after listening. Her speech taught me that although I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life that that’s okay. I don’t need to have my future planned out at this exact moment, that by taking classes that interest me my first few years, I’ll be able to eventually find my path. Whether my career is one that deals with helping others, researching societies, or even sitting in a business office, I know that Saint Mary’s is the right place to help discover my future.

Girl Interrupted

A couple of years ago I was sitting in a hotel room flipping through television channels and ended up settling on a random one. As the picture came into focus on screen I was met with the faces of Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder, and Brittany Murphy, and suddenly I became enthralled with the scenes playing out before me. However, I seemed to have stumbled upon the movie at the worst time because within minutes Murphy’s character’s lifeless body was hanging lifelessly in her bathroom. The scene was so disturbing that I remember instantly changing the channel, trying to forget what I had just saw. Funny enough, that scene was once again shown to me this week as I watched the film ‘Girl Interrupted.’

Once again that scene in the movie was the moment that stood out to me the most. The fact that the character Daisy became so distressed with her life and her disease that she decided to take her own life was heartbreaking. In the movie Jolie’s character, Lisa, is shown belittling Daisy to the point of extremity. After researching a little about the original story I discovered that Lisa was not even at Daisy’s house when she committed suicide. In fact Lisa didn’t even here about it until days later. Daisy took her life because of her own demons, not because she was suddenly verbally abused. The author of the novel that the movie is based off of is said to have been upset with the way that incident was portrayed and I can see why.

Although Daisy’s suicide was not accurately portrayed on film, the fact that her suicide even occurred is still one of the most important parts in the story. It’s hard to believe that an institution could let someone leave their care when they’re not fully cured. Daisy was obviously still struggling with her illness, and the fact that she was removed from the good influences of people in the hospital was not fair to her. I wish her father had realized that his daughter was not going to get better by herself. If he would have understood this and if she wouldn’t have been in denial maybe there would have been a different outcome for her.

Impression of History's Past

1. Upon first glance of Mary Cassatt's painting 'Young Mother Sewing' I immediately am staring into the face of the worn-looking mother. Her eyes are set in concentration while she stares down at her task at hand; sewing a dress and keeping account of her young child.

2. I described the mother's face as worn because to me, it looks as if she's been working hard at her tasks. Her chestnut hair is starting to fall out of her once well put together bun, and a single curl is laying limp on her forehead. The mother has her back to the window, shielding her and her young child's eyes from the outside world. She is purely domesticated and seems to not want any distractions from the nature behind her back.

3. The painter manages to achieve a solemn feeling in the painting. For as I mentioned the mother's face is anything but gleeful and even her child is sitting with a bored expression as he or she rests their hand on their chin. However the serious feeling of the mother is contrasted with the bright colors of the flowers next to her. I wonder if the artist did this to lighten up the painting both visually and emotionally?

4. The main purpose of this painting is to show how women once used to live. They were the primary providers for their children. They were also the caretakers of their homes and often had to balance the responsibilities of taking care of household chores, while also keeping their young ones entertained. If anything I think this painting shows how far we've come as a society. Mother's are now working citizens and are not always the primary care takers of their children. More and more often men are choosing to stay home while their wives perform tasks in various work fields, therefor Cassatt's painting is the impression of history's past, and fortunately is not that of the future.